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Manny Pacquiao

This is a post shared to me by a friend...I just want to share to all...

"I'm a Manny pacquiao fan and i just want to know how Manny would look like if he will portray my favorite characters and more.., share ko lang.."

Manny Pacquiao as Wolverine (Hugh jackman look-alike?)

As James Bond (Pierce Brosnan look-alike?)

As Legolas (Orlando Bloom?)

Jack Sparrow (Better than Johnny Depp?)

Monkey Pacquiao

FHM Model (Hot!)

The Incredible Hulk (you won't like him when he's angry...)

As Superman

Boy Abunda?

Baby Manny

Go GLORIA!

Basahin, Tumawa at Higit sa Lahat- Ipasa!!!

Street Vendor : Bili na kayo ng relo! Gold watch ito! Pag namuti, white gold! Pag huminto stopwatch!'

GF : hu hu hu hu bakit natin ginawa ito? hindi na ako virgin at dalawang beses pa natin ginawa!BF : ano? isa lang ah?!
GF : bakit, hindi na ba natin uulitin mamaya?!

Couple talking:
Wife : hon, paki fix naman ilaw sa labas.
Husband : hello!? electrician ba ako?
Wife : eh di pakigawa na lang hagdan natin.
Husband : hello!? karpintero ba ako?
Umalis c husband, pagbalik gawa na lahat ng sira sa bahay. tinanong niya wife kung sino gumawa ng trabaho.
Wife : kasi kanina, a man saw me crying. sabi ko dami sira dito sa bahay. so he offered to help in exhange of either sex or bake ako ng cake.
Husband : so pinag-bake mo siya ng cake?
Wife : hello?! baker ba ako?!

ANG MARRIED LIFE....May isang intsik na sa sobrang hilig sa karaoke ay inaabot ng 5 am.Dahil sa takot mabugbog ni misis, nag-text ng:'HUWAG KA BAYAD RANSOM. NAKATAKAS AKO. UWI NA KO!'

Husband: 'Parati na lang tayo away! Maghiwalay na lang tayo!'
Wife: 'Sige, maghati tayo ng mga anak!'
Husband: 'Akin ang mga guwapo at maganda!'
Wife: 'Sus! Pinili pa yung hindi kanya!'

Sa harap ng nursery window:
Friend: Pare, pag laki ng anak mo, i'm sure magaling mag-drive.
Dad: Bakit, pare, malaki ba ang kamay?
Friend: Hindi. Kasi kamukha siya ng driver ninyo!

Husband came home from church, suddenly lifted his wife and carried her.
Wife: Why? Did the Pastor tell you to be romantic like this?
Husband: No! He told me to carry my cross!

Friend: 'Wow, pare, ganda ng sapatos mo, ah!'
Husband: 'Oo. Surprise gift ng kumare mo!'
Friend: 'Surprise? Ano occassion?'
Husband: 'Wala. Nakita ko na lang sa ilalim ngkama namin kagabi!'

Health Advisory: 'Beer contains female hormones, and can turn men into women.After 5 pints....men become talkative, unreasonable, irritable, cry for nothing, and urinate while sitting!'

WIFE: I'm warning you! Parating na husband ko in 1 hour!
HANDSOME VISITOR: Wala naman akong ginawang masama ah?
WIFE: kaya nga! kung may balak ka, GAWIN MO NA!!!

WIFE: Himala! aga mong umuwi ngayon.
HUSBAND: Sunod ko lang utos ng boss ko. Sabi nya 'GO TO HELL' kaya ito uwi agad ako.

Wife: Lab, may taning na ang buhay ko. Huling gabi ko na to, let's make love.
Husband: Heh! tumigil ka nga. Maaga pa akong gigising bukas, buti ikaw, hindi na.

Population policies of countries:
China: Stop at 1 child
Singapore : Stop at 2 children
Philippines: STOP AT 4 A.M.!

RUSSIAN: we're 1st in space
USA : we're 1st in the moon
ERAP: we'll be the 1st in the sun
USA: you can't go there, you'll burn
ERAP: we're not stupid, we'll go there at NIGHT!

Ano kadalasan ang sinasabi kapag nautot?
American: Excuse me.
British: Pardon me.
Pinoy: NOT ME!'

SUMPA'Hindi na makakatikim ng napakasarap na 'sex' ang huling bumasa nito!Ayos safe na ako...papayag ka bang IKAW ang huling babasa nito?

Slips...

Old movie, new watch??? Watch it out...

You need to hold the trigger to shoot someone...or???

Aeroplanes in Trojan War???

Bows, arrows and... cellphones??? In the olden days???

And here it comes...I hope it's everyones's favorite....

Wow!!! Adidas had a great endorser in Captain Jack...

but not as STUPID as...

Or this...

No COMMENT...



THIS IS WHAT SAD LOOKS LIKE...

THIS IS WHAT SORRY LOOKS LIKE...

This is what BAD spelling looks like...

This is what intimacy looks like...

This is what deaf looks like...

This is what stupid looks like...

This is what 'Oh Shit' looks like...

This is what your tax dollars look like...

This is what McBurndt looks like...

This is what 'I can Wait' looks like...

This is what a 'Nightmare' looks like...

This is what a 'Blonde's car' looks like...

The Pearly Gates of Heaven

A Train hits a bus load of Catholic school girls and theyall perish.

They are all in Heaven and trying to enter thepearly gates past St.Peter.St. Peter asks the first girl,

'Jessica, have you everhad any contact with a penis?
'She giggles and shyly replies, 'Well I once touched thehead of one with the tip of my finger.'

St. Peter says, 'Ok, dip the tip of your finger in theHoly water and pass through the gate.

'St. Peter asks the next girl the same question,

'Jennifer have you ever had any contact with a penis?'
The girl is reluctant but replies, 'Well once I fondledand stroked one.

'St. Peter says, 'Ok, dip your whole hand in the Holywater and pass through the gate.'

All of a sudden there is a lot of commotion in the line of girls,
one girl is pushing her way to the front of the line.

When she reaches the front St. Peter says,
'Lisa! Whatseems to be the rush?

The girl replies, 'If i'm going to have to gargle that Holy water,
I want to do it before Tiffany sticks her ass in it!'

Nursery Rhymes Ng Mga Chennelyn

*BUBUKA ANG BULAKLAK

Bubukesh ang floweret

jojosok ang reynabelz

shochurva ng chacha

pajembot jembot fah

boom tiyayavush

tiyayavush chenes

boom tiyayavush

tiyayavush chenes

____________ _________ _________

*PEN PEN DE SARAHPEN

Pen pen de chorvaloo

de kemerloo de eklavoo

hao hao de chenelyn

de ba yutech

si friti dapat iipit

goldness-filak

chumochorva

sa tabi ng chenes

shoyang fula

talong na fula

shoyang fute

talong na mapute

chuk chak chenes

namo uz ek

____________ _________ _________

*TAGU-TAGUAN

Shogu-shoguan

ning ning galore ng buwan

pag-counting ng krompu

naka shogu na kayey

jisa

krolawa

shotlo

kyopat

jimak

yonim

nyitoert

walochi

syamert

krompu

mga bekian

detrax na si atashi

____________ _________ _________

*AKO AY MAY ALAGA

aketch may nyologa

solang majuba

juntot ay majoba

majinis ang nyukha

halgay niya aketch

halgay ko rin siya

sikaya mekey mudwa

laging magkajoma

____________ _________ _________

*SAMPUNG MGA DALIRI

jompung mga joliri

jomay at tiil

joluwang jenga

joluwang tameyk

jilong na magandich

majijiit ng ngipin

majurap ilafez

jilang majiit nagjojobing

wag kang magjijinungaling

____________ _________ _________

*INDIAN PANA

indian shona

shoshona-shona

shotlong jitlog

jojolog jolog

indian jona

jojona-jona

shotlong jitlog

jojolog jolog

____________ _________ _________

*BAHAY KUBO

valer kuberch

kahit jutay

ang julamantrax dochi

ay anek anek

nyongkamas at nyutring

nyogarilyas at kipey

nyitaw, nyotaw jutani

kundol, jutola

jupo't jolabastrax

at mega join join pa

jubanox, nyustasa

nyobuyas, nyomatis

nyowang at luyax

at around the keme ay

fulness ng linga

____________ _________ _________

*AKO AY MAY LOBO

akez ay may lobing

nag flysung sa heaven

wiz ko na na sighting

nyomutok na palerz

shoyang lang ang adeks

pang buysung ng lobing

nyuti pa pang lafez

nyomusog pa akez